Here is another pondering from my father and pastor......
It has been a while since I "pondered". I guess I have not had enough sense to think about much. But did you ever wonder why Jesus went farther in the garden than his three closest disciples? Perhaps it was because he had things to say in a manner they would not understand. He knew that if they heard him pleading with the spirit to allow him to not go to the cross, they would not view him in the same manner they had. They would say, Is this the man who commanded the elements and they obeyed? Is this the man who cast out demons? Is this the man who raised the dead? Did he not feed multitudes with little food? Why then is he so afraid at this time? Why is he so hesitant at this time? Perhaps it would have destroyed their confidence in him.
Do you ever feel like if everyone heard you at your weakest moments as you prayed that they would doubt if you really were walking with God? Do you ever want to cry out to God in your hurt and anguish, but are afraid to do so because of what those who hear you would think? You are not alone. I think this is why Jesus prayed alone so much and why he prayed alone in the garden. He knew that perception plays a big part in people's confidence. That is why we are commanded to enter our closet and shut the door. Our Father will hear in secret. He will not lose confidence in us. He will not think that we are not saved. He will know our belief and help our unbelief. So when you pray alone, do not hesitate to open up to God. He knows the feelings of our infirmities, not just our infirmities; and there is a big difference.
God Bless You
Pastor Billy Long